Don't Be Fooled

There will always be those who will say you can’t. This will either paralyze you or push you. Hopefully it will always push you harder. Push you toward your goals, push you in the direction of your dreams beyond the fear, beyond the doubt and beyond the noise inside and outside your head.

But then there are those who will use not so obvious tactics to distract you. There are people who are essentially wolves in sheep’s clothing, but they will play the lame sheep. They will seem sad, weak willed, fallen on hard times, injured, and/or tired. This is a rouse. Misery LOVES company. Like..really fucking loves it. And we live in a world of techo narcissists willing to over share and garner sympathy for completely ridiculous reasons. Look, we all have rough patches. It’s the ability to rise above these, to get through them, to problem solve on our OWN that builds character and makes us stronger, more resilient human beings. Nothing toughens you up like falling into shit. Pick yourself up by your own bootstraps and move on.

But the lambs….(“Do you hear the lambs screaming?”)

The lambs who sacrifice themselves in the name of narcissism and attention. “LOOK! Look at me! Look at how I am floundering! I try so hard and I work my ass off and I do my best and yet life just keeps shitting on me. Waaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!! Feel sorry for me!” Uhhhhh no. Fuck you. Get your shit together and move forward. You know how many fucks the world gives about your shitty situation? Hold on…I’ll show you...just wait one second...I got it right here...

Now I am not immune. I understand people need a sounding board, There are times we turn to social media or other outlets to seek advice or try to get help. I also understand that humans need friends and need to piss and moan. Ask my husband. Ask my coach. I piss and moan PLENTY! I also understand that sometimes life just sucks and you need to whine. I get it. And no good deed goes unpunished. You think you did a good thing and it comes flying back at you and smacks you in the face. I get all of that. But to constantly, incessantly post, or speak, or text/type in such a fashion that you are perpetually the Debbie Downer is horse shit. You are bringing down the very people who are genuinely trying to help you. Why would someone want to do such a thing? Two-fold: Misery loves company and ATTENTION! Maybe they’re miserable at their job, maybe their miserable in their marriage, or maybe there is some other extenuating circumstance we don’t know about that forces them to act this way.

You can be kind to this person, this manipulator, without being dragged into their bullshit. Kindness is free. Respond to them if you feel compelled but then move on. Time is linear. Money is infinite and we can always get more but time is not. We have very limited time on this earth and we should spend it wisely. Wasting your precious time and energy and efforts on someone who truly doesn’t need them, only slows you down and keeps you further from your personal goals. Keep that positive mental attitude, hold your head up, know that you made your effort regardless of size and move forward. Time stops for no one and doesn’t give a shit if you’re dragging a sacrificial lamb with you or not. We all have baggage, we all have problems, and everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. And don’t assume to know it from posts or comments. That’s not fair. But you can be sympathetic or empathetic without going overboard or feeding their obvious need for attention. Pray for them if you like but know that a perpetual whiner has issues deeper than what’s presented and they need to take care of that themselves.

YOU WILL NOT FIX THEM!! You can’t. That’s not your job. Do YOUR job. Let them do theirs. Let them run their race. If you can help, great. But if you reach out a hand and they just yank you to the ground with them, it’s up to you to get up and move forward and wish them the best. Don’t be fooled by their tactics. They’re injured soccer players (you know what i’m talking about) trying to buy time on the clock, while taking it off yours. Don’t allow yourself to be sucked into their vortex of boo-hoo.

It’s possible to be kind without being sympathetic. Sometimes tough love is the best option. Let them figure it out. They will be stronger for it.

To the lambs I say: Everyone goes through shit. We go through shit to appreciate the good times. But when we stay in shit, we get used to the smell and suddenly everything in life and those who are in it become shit too. Don’t live in shit. Get up. Get out. Get moving. Let things go. Breathe the fresh sweet air and be thankful for it. Life is worth it. YOU are worth it. Smile! There is much to be happy about and thankful for. Why dwell in sorrow and misery? Happiness is a choice. CHOOSE to be happy. CHOOSE YOU!!! Be positive and be a light for those who look to you (everyone has someone who looks to them).  Quit wasting your time here. Tackle your goals and dreams with vigor. Shit happens. It’s ok if you step in it. But when you fake a fall, land in it and suddenly end up covered in it, no one wants to be around it. Keep your shit to yourself. Wash it off and keep moving forward.

Carrie Giordano