Hate Me...Love You

The cornerstone of New Testament Christian teachings. To love and forgive are what we should try to do every day to all fellow humans regardless of the circumstances. That's what it teaches us. Easier said than done.

There are those out there who, despite their level of success or failure, want to see us fail. Whether it's to get their jollies, a personal vendetta or simply pure jealousy. Maybe they play a part in these attempts at our demise, maybe not. Maybe they sit back and watch the trainwreck unfold on its own. Maybe our venture is doomed to failure, but we're so very excited about it, so very passionate about what we're embarking on, that we simply don't care and wish to pursue it anyway.

That.

That's the spirit to which we should always live our lives and pursue our passions, no matter what they are. And there will always be someone out there who hates you for it. There will always be someone who says you can't, or your shouldn't, or you'd better not. Perhaps they're your competition in a field or opportunity. Let the hate motivate you and the possibility of failure inspire you.

Haters teach us valuable lessons. First of all, it teaches us we're on the right path. You must be doing something right! Haters only appear when you are, and that's important to note. When you're stumbling, fumbling and tumbling around trying to find what lights you up, no one cares. I mean, you'll have supportive people in your life and those you love trying to help or guide you or tell you what THEY think you should be doing. Or perhaps they are simply there to support you and have a good time along the way. But when you find it- that thing. That thing that sets a fire inside your soul. That thing that is like a puzzle piece slid into place and completes a part of you. That thing that makes you realize what your purpose is when it comes to living and influencing the world around you. When you find it, it's a lot like love. You just know. Then you research it. How can I make a living or at least part time extra income by doing this? Or maybe not. Maybe it's a hobby and that's enough. That's perfectly acceptable and admirable too!

9x/10 you'll find that what you love, you're pretty good at. Even when you're just starting out. We're always better and more efficient at things we're passionate about. As Gary Vee would say, “Triple down on that!” If it lights you up, if it sets you on fire, if it completes you, if it wakes you up, if it motivates you and gets you out of bed to live your life in ways you never thought possible, that's exactly what you need to be doing. Chances are, you'll be a better person because of it. Happier, more jovial, easier to talk to, more forgiving and patient.

Then there are those who will come out of the woodwork to slam the doors shut on your newfound love. Sometimes it's obvious- “You can't do that! You're too fat/ugly/old/unskilled/busy/etc for that.” Then there are those who are not so obvious- “Are you sure that's a good idea? You should really think about this. I don't know if that's such a good idea right now. Maybe you should try X instead.” Sometimes friends are able to have a more objective perspective on your life and are genuinely trying to help you see reason if your ideas come off as outlandish. That's ok! They love you and are only looking out for you. But there are certainly those who want to stop you dead in your tracks. Maybe it is a loved one. These are the hardest haters to identify because you don't want to believe that they would ever want you to fail or give up. See, the magnitude or scariness of your dream or goal is irrelevant. You can still have it no matter how ridiculous or outlandish it may seem, but you gotta meet little goals and take little steps on the way there. Some of these steps will be over people trying to stop you. It's ok. This is normal. Your dreams and goals may cost you relationships. If you remain true to yourself and your purpose, you will find the sacrifice worth it. And I promise you will find others who support these dreams and goals and stand beside you in their own pursuit with their own stories ready to help and give advice and encouragement where they can.

Then there are the haters you don't even know! People out in the world who start to hear of you and learn what your doing, whether it through the local community or on social media or something else and they will immediately despise you. You and your knowledge and success as you rise will infuriate them. They will spit on your name, talk trash behind your back, or, if they're brave enough, to your face. They will try to put you down, debunk your advancements, spread rumors and lies in an attempt to foul up your name. Let them. They will fight powers that be to keep you from rising. They will spend inordinate amounts of their time thinking about you and what you're doing and how to manipulate your environment and those around you. Did you read that correctly??

They will spend inordinate amounts of THEIR time thinking about YOU….

Think about that. Why? Why are they so concerned with what you're doing? Why are they not focused on themselves, their lives, their own pursuits and goals and dreams? Why are they spending precious time on you? They are attempting to live your life and mess it up somehow. This is where it gets laughable and exactly WHY you shouldn't care. If their life is so boring or miserable, that they feel the need to spend time and attention away from their own lives to focus on yours, that's pretty sad. What's missing in their lives? Why must they do this? When did you become so interesting? Why do they see you as a threat or problem?

You must be doing something right.

So what do you do? How do you handle these idiots? You love them. You kill them with kindness and you assume that something inside them or in their lives is making them unhappy. You don't need to pity them, but finding compassion and empathy for them is the human thing to do. “But they're infuriating me and trying to ruin me! I'm pissed!” Well then they win, don't they? Why do you care?? Exactly why do you care if you have haters and who they are? Your job is to stay true to you. Stay on your course. Stay on your hustle. DO YOUR JOB!!!!

Let them hate. Let them try and bring you down. By being compassionate and empathetic, you're already a step above. By showing how you can forgive and “turn the other cheek”, you win. Remember that even if you do stumble and even if you experience failures, even if they see it and laugh and capitalize on your mishaps, that doesn't stop you. You're not finished. You don't give up. You don't quit. You keep going. Time is linear and stops for no one. So you move with it. Let the haters hate. But remember that they're  watching. Every success and every failure, they will see. Let them. Let them waste time standing around the water cooler yammering while you forge ahead. Pray for them. Cheer for them. Hope they do better. Hope they find what they're looking for. Do the opposite of what they're doing.

Above all else, be kind.

So I say to my haters that may be out there, hate me. I love you.

Carrie Giordano